There are two ways a church can fail you.
One is judgment. You walk in and feel like you are being evaluated.
The other is abandonment. You walk in, you are welcomed, you start trying to follow Jesus, and then you realize you are doing it alone.
Part 1, Come as you are, was about ending judgment. Part 2, “But don’t stay as you are,” is about ending abandonment.
…but don’t stay as you are.
Some people hear, “Come as you are,” and assume it means, “You are fine. Nothing needs to change.” That is not Christianity. That is affirmation without gospel transformation.
Jesus was called a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 9.11, 11.16–19). And without a doubt, the folks he hung out with were sinners. Two things to note here. First, He made the moral outcasts feel safe in His presence (Luke 15.1). He ate with them (Luke 5.29). He welcomed them (John 6.37). He did not wait for them to become respectable before He moved toward them (Romans 5.8). Second, He did not let His friends stay where they were, because He could see what sin was doing to them (John 8.34), and He loved them too much to leave them there (Revelation 3.19).
Nobody walked with Jesus and stayed the same, because belonging to Him was never passive. It was transformative companionship.
Jesus invites His church into that same kind of ministry. Which means we do two things at once. We make people safe to come close, and we stay close long enough for grace to do its slow work.
I get that this will mean the church will get messy. But messy was Jesus’ ministry. Simply look at how patient Jesus was with messy people, especially His disciples. They argued about greatness (Mark 9.33–34). They pushed kids away (Mark 10.13–16). They tried to correct Jesus (Mark 8.31–33). In His final hours, they betrayed, denied, and abandoned Him (Mark 14), but He still went to the cross for them. Jesus models for us the kind of patience we need to offer as a church and the kind of patience we need to receive as people being transformed more and more into Christ’s likeness
A healthy church culture does not only say, “Come as you are.” It also says, “We will not leave you there.”
What does “do not stay as you are” look like in real life?
This is where churches often go wrong in two opposite directions.
Some churches avoid the call to transformation because they do not want to sound judgmental. So they offer comfort, but not transformation.
Other churches demand transformation through pressure and shame. They communicate, “If you belong here, you will clean up quickly.” That creates compliance, not holiness.
If you’ve learned to stay guarded, that makes sense. A lot of church cultures feel safest for smiling, put-together people. But Jesus is offering you something better.
At this point, I need to speak to two different categories of readers. Ironically, we all fit into both categories.
Some of you read “do not stay as you are” and you hear an invitation. You want change. You want freedom. You want to become the kind of person Jesus is making you into, but you are not sure what to do next, or you are tired of trying and failing.
Others of you read “do not stay as you are” and you immediately think about somebody else. Somebody who needs to get it together. Somebody who is a mess. Somebody who is complicated. And if that is your reflex, I just want to say it plainly. You are in the story too. The church is not made up of the clean helping the unclean. The church is made up of the forgiven learning how to live forgiven.
So let me speak to both.
To the one who is trying to not stay as you are,
“Do not stay as you are” does not mean you clean yourself up so you can finally belong. It means you belong, and because you belong, you do not have to stay stuck. Jesus does not shame you into holiness. He walks you into freedom.
So what does that look like, practically?
First, it looks like being honest with Jesus and yourself, about where you are and where you shouldn’t be. It’s saying to Jesus something like, “I have been carrying this, and I don’t want to carry it anymore.” “I have been stuck in this.” “I do not know how to change.” Because as John reminds us, “If we confess our sins, Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1.9).
Second, it looks like letting someone pray with you, not just for you. James says, “Pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5.16). Healing is not only private. God often does it through His people.
Third, it looks like receiving help without turning it into performance. Paul says, “Work out your salvation… for it is God who works in you” (Philippians 2.12–13). Your effort matters, but you are not the engine. Grace is.
Fifth, it looks like staying connected when you are tempted to disappear. Isolation is how sin keeps its grip. Community is often how grace loosens it.
To the church, as you welcome broken people into a family of broken people,
If we are going to be the kind of church where people do not stay stuck, we are going to have to release the instinct to stand above. The only posture that makes sense in the church is beside. “Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you” (Romans 15.7). That includes you. That includes me.
So here are a few small, non-dramatic ways you can help build a culture of grace-based transformation, without acting morally superior.
- Pray one specific prayer for one specific person.
- Ask one clarifying question instead of offering advice.
- Offer one small act of companionship.
- Outdo one another in showing honor.
- Make one invitation that is easy to say yes to.
None of that requires a big personality. It requires humility. It requires remembering that you are not the physician. Jesus is. We are fellow patients learning to trust Him.
And that is the point. “Do not stay as you are” is not a slogan for fixing other people. It is the promise that Jesus does not abandon any of us in our brokenness. He welcomes us, He stays close, and He invites His Church into the process. This is how grace becomes tangible. And this is how belonging to Jesus begins to reshape a life.
So here is the invitation.
If you need to change, you do not have to hide, and you do not have to do it alone. Step into the light, ask for prayer, and stay close long enough for grace to do its slow work. And if you are the one welcoming others, do not stand above them. Stand beside them. Because the church is not a room full of people who have it together. It is a family of forgiven sinners learning to walk with Jesus together, and learning to stay when it gets messy.
Fr. Chase