A Meditation on Matthew 18:15-20
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” ~Matthew 18:15
Porch Talk – Carol Aust, 2020. carolaust.com
Acrylic on panel, 22″ x 10″
Used with permission.
This is straightforward advice from the lips of our Lord. It is some of the last pieces of advice our Lord gives the disciples as he will enter Jerusalem for Holy Week in chapter 21. It seems so easy, so logical. And yet, in reality, it is one of the hardest things we need to do. It does not come naturally. When a brother sins against us the natural thing to do is to go to friends and talk about the person rather than going to the source of the problem and talking to the person. This spreads the emotional load and actually works to perpetuate the problem rather than work toward a solution and reconciliation. Talking about someone who has wronged us actually throws fuel on the fire of resentment, making reconciliation that much harder. Computers have only made the problem worse. When we “talk” into a screen we are not talking to our brother face to face. In simplest terms, Jesus calls us to be ministers of reconciliation. —2 Corinthians 5:18 Yet all too often we become seekers of revenge rather than ministers of reconciliation.
It is helpful to look at the rest of chapter 18 in Matthew to help us understand the things necessary to become a better minister of reconciliation. The chapter begins with Jesus teaching that “whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
So much of our need to be right is tied to pride. In today’s lesson from Romans, Paul reminds us that we are to “Outdo one another in showing honor. —Romans 12:10 He also cautions us to, “not be haughty, but to associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.” —Romans 12:16. We could avoid so much pain and conflict if we could only temper our pride, learning to look at issues from many perspectives. I will be the last person to advocate a relativistic view of truth. However, we as believers must learn to “speak the truth in love.” Christ is our model. He never walked away from the truth, but he always aimed toward reconciliation between sinners and his Father. Jesus was the “way, the truth, and the life” but he also modeled humility and carried the penalty for our sin upon his own shoulders so that we might be reconciled to God. I can think of so many examples of him looking into the eyes of sinners, face to face, and forgiving them while at the same time telling them to sin no more. If we would be ministers of reconciliation we must learn humility, even as our Lord humbled himself. —Philippians 2:5-8
Matthew chapter 18 ends with the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. This is the parable of the man who was forgiven a huge debt and yet he refused to forgive a small amount that his fellow servant owed him. Unforgiveness and a quest for justice do not help us in our quest to become ministers of reconciliation. The kingdom of God operates on grace and mercy. Once again Paul reminds us in today’s epistle that, “We are to repay no one evil for evil.” —Romans 12:17 And again he states, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” —Romans 12:19 Paul helps us to see that when we take revenge it is not because of a lack of justice, it is because we have a lack of faith. We do not trust that the Lord is just. We do not trust that he will make things right in the end. We take justice out of his gracious hands and put it into our bloody ones. The bloody hands we need to remember are those of Jesus. In grace, he took the punishment we deserve.
In short, when our brother sins against us we are to go to them and talk face to face. We do so in humility, not pride. We go seeking reconciliation, not revenge. We need to realize that we are in trouble when we talk in terms of “us and them.” In reality, the only “us” is a world full of sinners and the only “them” is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This Holy God cries out to us in the words of the lesson from Ezekiel, “I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?” We need to stop calling names like fascist, racist, and communist. When we make someone out to be an “_____ist,” we dehumanize them. This helps us to rationalize hurting them. This is not being Christlike. Christ always found a way to see the image of his Father in even the worst sinners. We must stop cursing the darkness and light the candle of communication by meeting face to face with someone we disagree with. In 2020, in this season of Covid and elections and racial tension this might even mean reaching out to someone in our own family to talk and to listen in grace and humility. In listening, we may “gain our brother.” —Matthew 18:15 Please understand. I ask no one to compromise the truth. We need truth now more than ever. However, we must seek to reflect the light of Christ who always spoke the truth in love. We must seek to be ministers of reconciliation.
†Mark