Fr. Matt’s Discernment Process

Dear Beloved Members of Christ Church Anglican,

I am writing to inform you of the outcome of my discernment process to become the Rector of Christ Church Anglican, or to pursue other opportunities to serve in Christ’s Church. Following several months of intense prayer and discernment, I recently requested that the Vestry withdraw my name from consideration for the position of Rector of Christ Church Anglican. I have instead been offered and accepted a call to become the Rector of a Parish in Northern Colorado. I, along with my family, feel strongly that this is God’s leading, and that this call will be a more suitable one for me as a Priest and a young father; and we are excited for what this transition means for us as well as for Christ Church Anglican.

I hope you all know me well enough to know that this was not an easy decision for me, but rather a painful one, made with many tears and sleepless nights. I love Christ Church Anglican and have high hopes for what God is going to continue to do here for a long time, but I simply do not sense that God is calling me to play the role in that future that many, including myself up until recently, have expected me to play.

I have tried to make a habit of being candid and direct with parishioners at Christ Church Anglican during my time as a leader here, and I will be direct with you now about the primary reasons for this difficult decision. To begin, I am exhausted from my first few years in ministry here and feel very strongly that I need a change. I probably do not need to rehearse all of the factors that have contributed to this rocky and intense beginning to my time as a Priest. I was hired to serve for two years as a Curate, which is something like an internship for young clergy in the Anglican tradition, and to discern from there where God may be leading me in the Anglican Communion. My curacy lasted about a month before my job description changed for the first time. While I can thank God for that in one sense, I must also say that I have not come out the other side of these past few years, with all of their challenges, unscathed.

Additionally, while my long history with this Parish has been a blessing that has enabled me to serve well through trying times, it has also become a tremendously difficult thing for me to navigate as I lead this church. There are times when I feel that my ability to lead is compromised by my close, long-held relationships at Christ Church Anglican, some dating back to when I was a teenager. In honest moments, I can tell that some of those who have known me since then do find it difficult to respect me as a Priest and a leader, a fact which a few parishioners have shared with me. It is difficult to respond to these dynamics well, and the possibility of serving somewhere where my previous history with the Parish will not make my ministry quite as complicated is an attractive proposition.

There are additional factors that play into my decision to seek God’s leading elsewhere. I have seen tremendous growth and maturity at Christ Church Anglican, but this Parish still has more room to grow. Leadership needs to be trusted, divergent visions of the call and function of this Church need to be unified, and systems need to be updated to better reflect the size and diversity of this Parish. Culture change needs to continue, a culture change for which I no longer feel that I have the capacity or energy to accomplish.

Continuing a healthy culture change at Christ Church Anglican can begin right now, as you consider how to respond to this letter. This is a decision that will no doubt shock and disappoint many of you. Some of us may even be tempted to resort to what St. Paul refers in his Epistles as our “former ways” of responding to difficult news. These former ways could take different shapes, but they all share the common feature of being grounded in a position of fear rather than trust. On the basis of the health of our church through many trials and tribulations over this past year alone, we can say with confidence that God is with us and for us, Jesus Christ is still Lord, and His name is still the Church’s name.

I could not conclude this letter without also saying how fully deserving of our confidence and trust our vestry, wardens, and staff is, as we approach this season of transition through which they will lead. These are godly, competent leaders, and this church would not be as strong as it is without their leadership. It is my spiritual responsibility, while I remain at Christ Church as Priest-in-Charge, along with the leadership of the church, to remind us continually of these empirical facts pointing to the presence of God among us. To respond as we once did to a change like this one would be the equivalent of speaking a loud “no” to the ways and means of God, and a “yes” to the enemies of Christ’s Church throughout the world.

Christ Church Anglican is so much bigger than any one Rector, group of people, denomination, or worship style. Consequently, there is no rational basis for pausing any of the plans that God has given us for the future of Christ Church Anglican, including our capital projects, steps towards health, and the search for a future Rector. I will remain with you through the summer, as will Bp. Mark, while the third and final stage of a Rector search process, which is already underway, will continue. I anticipate many more questions from all of you, which I and the leadership of Christ Church Anglican will be happy to answer, as time and energy allow. Questions regarding the search process may be directed to this vestry email account: vestrycca@gmail.com, which will be monitored by the clergy, wardens, and vestry.

I love all of you very deeply, and if you have learned anything under my leadership at Christ Church Anglican, I hope it is simply that we can trust that God is with us and for us in Jesus Christ. What else do we need? Jesus Christ is still alive, we have still been given the Holy Spirit, death is still defeated, and God still promises to meet us always in Word and Sacrament.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. Matt